Four Blondes

Title: Four Blondes
Author: Candace Bushnell
Publishing Date: 2001

Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City’s iconic author has returned to elucidate the lives of four privileged Manhattanites. Four Blondes is divided into separate novellas each appropriately titled, ‘NiceN’Easy’, ‘Highlights (For Adults)’, ‘Platinum’, and ‘Single Process’. As the velvet curtain is raised, the unsightly nature of beauty, wealth and power is exposed.

Janey, the pseudo-celeb/ex-model, has her sights set on snagging a man. Basically any man will do, just as long as they’re a billionaire and most importantly, owns a house(s) in the Hamptons. She’s your common gold-digger, enjoying the good life and never footing the bill- her exquisite beauty being the golden ticket to everything she has ever wanted. She maneuvers her way into the elite world by craftily playing the power-players and keeps her arsenal full of wealthy friends who’ll consequently, introduce her to wealthy men. Janey doesn’t think she’s using men for their money, but rather taking a feminist stand for “the redistribution of wealth”.

Winnie and James Diekes, both journalists (and highly competitive- secretly hating the other for their success) live in a posh apartment on the Upper West Side. They seem to have the perfect marriage on the exterior, but the interior is in desperate need of a re-decorating job. The walls are bare, the furniture absent, and both consciously evade the fact that their marriage is in a serious rut. The Diekes are conservative by of “I hate everyone who’s not like me”. Fast food, red meat and yappy dogs are considered evil, along with anyone who associates themselves with them. Slowly, their world begins to unravel as scandal and affairs consume their orderly, monotonous existence.

Next we have Cecelia, an heiress who’s convinced that she’s the center of a conspiracy, paranoid that everyone’s secretly involved in a plot to destroy her. She religiously reads Page Six for evidence that’ll prove her theories correct, and entertains her deluded thoughts by recording them all in a diary. You wouldn’t be surprised to learn that most of her day is spent at the shrink’s office where she spats out accusations and defensive objections and is subsequently prescribed Xanax.

The last character we’re introduced to is a single woman from New York who writes a sex column (sounds oddly familiar, don’t you think?) She begins by explaining, “We have a saying in New York: English girls who are considered beautiful in London are merely “pretty” in New York, while American girls who are called “attractive” in New York are beautiful in London”. This outlines the basic premise for the story. The writer is fed up with trying to find a decent man in New York. So when the opportunity arises to relocate to London, she doesn’t hesitate to pick up everything and try her luck overseas.

These mini-stories provide fleeting glimpses into the lives of four very different women. Some end up happy; and others well, not so much. It’s an honest way of looking at life and I liked the way these particular characters were set up, their lives contrasted. Each is extremely unique and different, yet similar in regard to their current situation. They are all facing a similar crossroad- whether to settle for what’s familiar and comfortable, or to take a chance at finding happiness and what they truly want out of life.

The novelty of these characters and their lives is what I enjoyed most about this book. However, just like Sex and the City, I didn’t like the format and writing style. Well, let me clarify- I liked the idea of separate novellas and their creative titles, but there just wasn’t enough continuity throughout the entire piece. Two novellas are considerably long, while the others are extremely short. The short stories give you the feeling of incompleteness, like it’s a summary or preview of what’s to come. We are abruptly shoved into this character’s life, and then pushed back out with no real connection to who they really are. This occurs with the last character in particular, I don’t even know her name (I just assumed it was Carrie Bradshaw). Within the four novellas, there are millions of sub-sections that get annoying. For example, two of Winnie’s sections are titled, “Something Bad Happens” and “Something Good Happens”. Bushnell was probably trying to mirror the format/voice with the couple’s mundane lives, but it’s just comes across too explicitly. The third person narrative drones on in a sort of a “this is Spot, see Spot run” style. Cecilia’s bit is flooded with “Dear Diary this and Dear Diary that”, and it gets old fast. There is a lot of overemphasizing and too much detail that we could do without and still enjoy and understand the book’s intentions. In the end, we know a lot about the women, facts and tidbits, but we don’t exactly know them.

Recommendation:
Bushnell does a good job of contrasting these characters and detailing the “madness” within their own personal world. If you’re the type of reader that’s interested in the finer points, examining the niceties of a particular character static situation rather than following a moving plot then this book is for you. If not, then I believe I did you a huge favor by reading and summarizing it so that you don’t have to.

Average Rating: 3.5/10

Rating System:
Plot Development: 2/10
Character Development: 3/10
Originality: 5/10
Format: 1/10
Complexity: 6/10
Humor: 4/10

Happy Hour at Casa Dracula

Title: Happy Hour at Casa Dracula
Author: Marta Acosta
Publishing Date: 2006

Marta Acosta’s Happy Hour at Casa Dracula is a fresh ensemble of fantasy, romance and humor, perfected with a feisty, contemporary flair. Described as “a cross between Bridget Jones’s Diary and Interview with the Vampire” and “Stephanie Plum meets Sex and the City”, this paranormal romantic comedy is an amusing tale which will have you transfixed from start to finish.

When Milagro de Los Santos, a struggling but spirited novelist, attends a book party for her ex-college sweetheart Sebastian, she is seduced by a dark, alluring man named Oswald who just so happens to be a vampire. The next thing she knows, she’s been bitten and awakens with a drowning sense of delirium and weakness. Initially, Milagro suspects she’s been drugged or has caught a bad case of the flu. But does the flu cause an unusual craving for raw hamburger meat? Fearing a possible “infection”, Oswald’s family steps in and offers her refuge at their secluded country ranch.

Milagro soon discovers that these aren’t your run-of-the-mill vampires with sharp fangs and dramatic black capes. They actually get quite touchy when referred to as vampires, they insist on having a condition, an autosomal recessive disorder due to an enzyme deficiency. They’re every bit as normal as you and I… well, almost. There are just a few extra precautions to take into account, such as taking iron supplements, wearing sun screen and sporting eye protection to relieve those annoying photosensitivity issues. At least your $400 Chanel sunglasses will be put to good use. Develop a thirst for blood? Don’t worry, you won’t have to go all Nosferatu and hunt down people at night. Satisfy those cravings with a soothing glass of Zinfandel, or anything with a reddish hue will do. Stock up on some V8 and cranberry juice and you’ll be just fine. For a nice variation now and then, meet up for happy hour with your friends and enjoy a moderate glass of angora rabbit blood (FYI: No animals were treated inhumanly, the animals are specifically raised for this purpose and the amount of blood extracted is much less in proportion to that if you’d donated blood).

During her stay at the ranch, Milagro is given the opportunity to share time with a family who’ll love her for who she really is. While her relationships become stronger, she also develops stronger feelings for Oswald. Everything seems fine and dandy except for one smidgen of a detail, Oswald is engaged. Doesn’t exactly coincide with the master plan to marry him and ride off into the sunset, does it? With that on her plate, she’s also served up another undesirable surprise. Sebastian is affiliated with a powerful underground organization whose mission is to rid the country of a vile infestation (i.e., kill vampires). Milagro must protect herself and her loved ones from Sebastian’s sinister tactics, but can she protect her heart from the driving stakes of love?

At first, you may be thinking, “How in the world do vampires fit into a romantic comedy, especially a contemporary romantic comedy? Well, that’s the genius of Marta Acosta. She’s a fighting force against the restricted confines of literary fiction boundaries. She breaks free of tight genre limitations and demonstrates how these are not limitations at all, but rather bridges to other genres. So in the end, the finished product isn’t a specific genre, or even a combination of genres, but a whole new, unique piece of work in itself. There’s no rule that says fantasy can’t interrelate with comedy and comedy can’t correspond with mystery or romance or action/adventure. Why not get creative, experiment and mix and match? It’s like adding many different spices to a recipe. Traditionally you may not think paprika mixes well with vanilla extract, but in the right recipe, in the right combination and variance, well, you never know. The trick is playing with the ratios while taking the surrounding content into account and you’ll end up with a totally new recipe that will stand apart from its conventional counterparts.

Acosta’s witty humor is the active catalyst which drives the other literary elements forward and keeps the reader’s interest strong. The 1st person narrative provides much insight into Milagro’s character, who’s a relatable heroine. As a smart and strong Latina who’s quirky and down-to-earth nature is refreshingly honest, readers instantly become attached to this character. The only thing I’m a bit critical of is Oswald’s character. I didn’t particularly like Oswald’s demeanor and overall presence. He just didn’t strike me as someone good enough for this heroine we’ve become so attached to. Sam (Oswald’s cousin) on the other hand, seems much more fitting; he has a sensitive whim to his character that is instantly appealing.

Recommendation:
Well-written and remarkably humorous, the plot flows at a fast, but comfortable pace. Be sure to read Midnight Brunch, the sequel to Happy Hour at Casa Dracula.

Average Rating: 8.7/10

Rating System:
Plot Development: 9/10
Character Development: 9/10
Originality: 10/10
Format: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Humor: 9/10